"Paul" <paul_fra_usenet@yahoo.slettes.dk> skrev i en meddelelse
news:RDhEd.642$cQ2.409@news.get2net.dk...
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
> Now here are the rules from the male side.
> These are our rules!
> Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE !
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> down.
> We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us *****ing about you
> leaving it down.
>
> 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
>
> 1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> tides. Let it be.
>
> 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
> short hair.
> One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women
> always cut their hair.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
> way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
> work! Just say it!
>
> 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
>
> 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops.
> What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of
> thirty, would look good with your dress?
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
> we do.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. Check your oil! Please.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
> answer.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
> for example, is a fruit, not a color.
> We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. It's genetic.
>
> 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
> Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about
> you.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
> don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation or monster
> trucks.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. No, NO you really do have too many shoes.
>
> 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
> No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>
> 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>
> 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
>
> Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
> camping.
>
*suk*, true, so true
