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Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan

Redmond, WA - Microsoft in a recent all cash deal has
purchased evil from Satan for $2.7 billion. "We've been after
Satan for some time," said CEO Steve Ballmer. "Negotiations
were tough but I think both Microsoft and the Prince of
Darkness are happy with this deal."

Before the purchase, Microsoft already had 15% of the evil
market, now that number is closer to 100%. The Department of
Justice has voiced concerns over one corporation controlling
so much evil, and has begun investigations into the deal.

"We feel that there are real opportunities with evil, and that
when evil is integrated it into our next generation of Windows
products consumers will appreciate evil on their desktop,"
said Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. "Businesses haven't been
able to fully realize their evil potential. With evil
integrated into Office 2001, corporations big and small will
begin to see enhanced evil productivity."

"Evil is a real growing market," market strategist Frank
Dresgan of Merrill Lynch said today. "Microsoft is a little
late in the game, but even when they enter a market late they
still tend to dominate. I think we'll see the same with evil."
"I've been dealing with Microsoft for some time," Lucifer
said. "I've been at this evil thing for millions of years, and
wanted a way out. I considered an IPO, but then Steve-O and
Billy came along and told me about their "Evil Everywhere"
plan and that was an offer I couldn't refuse."

Evil was founded by Satan close to the beginning of time. It
has been growing steadily ever since, although most of the
growth has come in the past five years with the development of
the internet. Satan plans to retire to a small island in the
Bahamas and write a column for the local newpaper.



--
I thought "Loading the dishwasher" meant getting your wife drunk?

-Jeff Foxworthy