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Kattens dagbog
Fra : Dorthe Prip Lahrmann


Dato : 16-08-02 18:34

Har netop fået sendt denne fra Finland :

The Cat's diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ......

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included
a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent
such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got
to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something
akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room
his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.




 
 
Kristin Andreassen (16-08-2002)
Kommentar
Fra : Kristin Andreassen


Dato : 16-08-02 22:53


"Dorthe Prip Lahrmann" skrev:

> The Cat's diary
>
> DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
> objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
> cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
> the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
> furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Hej Dorthe

Kattens dagbog giver lidt mere kontrast, hvis man sammenligner den med
hundens:


EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

DAY 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

DAY 181

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

DAY 182

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

V.H. Kristin. (Brutus og Maximus er MEGET enige)





Carsten Sørensen (17-08-2002)
Kommentar
Fra : Carsten Sørensen


Dato : 17-08-02 14:02

"Kristin Andreassen" <Kristinnospam@homemail.dk> wrote in news:Uue79.4976
$ww6.647947@news010.worldonline.dk:
> "Dorthe Prip Lahrmann" skrev:
>
>> The Cat's diary
>
> EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Hehe, det minder mig om nogle striber fra en tegneserie der hedder
Sinfest, nok en af de tørreste serier der er og nogle gange er der en
hund og kat med. Øhm og jeg bør nok lige advare om at sproget kan være en
smule groft... men harmløst, det er ment som satire.

http://sinfest.net/d/20000130.html
http://sinfest.net/d/20000308.html (og de tre næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20000328.html (og de tre næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20000606.html (og de to næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20000727.html (og de otte næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20000905.html (og de fire næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20000925.html (og de fire næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20001016.html (og de fem næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20001113.html (og de seks næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20001226.html (og de seks næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20010217.html (og de fire næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20010327.html (og de fem næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20010522.html (og de fem næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20010628.html (og de fire næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20011001.html (og de seks næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20011112.html (og de otte næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20020122.html (og de fire næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20020325.html (og de seks næste)
http://sinfest.net/d/20020618.html (og de fem næste)


Carsten Sørensen

Line Wolff (17-08-2002)
Kommentar
Fra : Line Wolff


Dato : 17-08-02 14:42

Ooooh! de var sjove Takker for link!

--
mvh Line
http://www.nelja.dk


"Carsten Sørensen" <cekd8sl5001@sneakemail.com> wrote in message
news:ajlhgu$2qe$1@news.cybercity.dk...
> "Kristin Andreassen" <Kristinnospam@homemail.dk> wrote in news:Uue79.4976
> $ww6.647947@news010.worldonline.dk:
> > "Dorthe Prip Lahrmann" skrev:
> >
> >> The Cat's diary
> >
> > EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
>
> Hehe, det minder mig om nogle striber fra en tegneserie der hedder
> Sinfest, nok en af de tørreste serier der er og nogle gange er der en
> hund og kat med. Øhm og jeg bør nok lige advare om at sproget kan være en
> smule groft... men harmløst, det er ment som satire.
>
> http://sinfest.net/d/20000130.html
> http://sinfest.net/d/20000308.html (og de tre næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20000328.html (og de tre næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20000606.html (og de to næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20000727.html (og de otte næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20000905.html (og de fire næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20000925.html (og de fire næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20001016.html (og de fem næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20001113.html (og de seks næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20001226.html (og de seks næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20010217.html (og de fire næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20010327.html (og de fem næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20010522.html (og de fem næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20010628.html (og de fire næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20011001.html (og de seks næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20011112.html (og de otte næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20020122.html (og de fire næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20020325.html (og de seks næste)
> http://sinfest.net/d/20020618.html (og de fem næste)
>
>
> Carsten Sørensen



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