Faldt over denne på en anden ng.
Enjoy!
Asger
I've herd a lot of talk about how man and machine belong together.
That renching your own ride bonds you with your bike. So I chased down
the Snap-On tool truck (wasn't too hard with my BMW's massive power)
and bought the whole dam setup. Thank god my beemers HID lights are
self leveling cause you should have seen that bastard riding low with
the three tons of tools I threw into the trunk.
I get home and organize everything nicely and I finaly feel like a
real motorcyclist. All these years I was missing out on being the
proud owner of all these gleeming tools. Man I must have handled them
all night long admireing the quality. The next day I wake up after not
sleeping all night and decide to do the oil on my Ducati Bostrom
Replica. I took off all the screws and yanked on the panel to take it
off but I forgot one that was hidden and then the panel snaped. Great
so now I have a broken Bostrom lower which to replace already bought
like 70 oil changes at the dealer. Oh well its only money and there
and I thank the lord Jesus theres plenty more where that came from.
Now I can see the filter. And the oil plug. I put a pan under the plug
and I take off the filter and all this oil starts coming out like
crazy. I mean like tons of it all over my pristeen garage floor and
everything. I called my friend up on the cell phone and he cracked up.
He said you need to drane the oil first with the plug. Ok so now I
make two booboos. 50 rolls of paper towels later I've finally moped up
the mess. Then I realize I've gotten used oil goop all over my brand
new Motorola flip phone that cost me $700!!! The oil attaked the
plastic screen and now its cloudy. ARGH!
I finaly can use my new Snap-On tools. I select a nice 3/8" drive and
put a socket on it and I feel better when I hear the satisying click
of quality. So I turn the drane bolt and the little bastard was stuck
something awful. I push and push and finally it gives but really
suddenly and I lose my balance and fall on the bike. The bike then
tips over on the other side and crashes down hard.
FUCK ME!!!
I leap up and yank the bike upright again. The right side has a broken
signal, cracked faring and mirror. This is getting to be more and more
expensive. I then notice that my foot feels wet. The bolt had come off
and the remaning oil is coming out of the bottom and its going all
over my shoe. This is cleerley not my day.
After taking off my shoes and throwing them in the garbage along with
the socks and then wiping my foot and floor again I proseed to
continue. All the oil is gone and not a drop went into the pan so I
put it away. The oil filter part was easy. I screwed it on and gave it
a 3/4 turn like my friend had told me. Then I pop open my Motul full
synthetic racing oil. The guy at the dealer said this is the best and
that I should see about 11 more horsepower from the reduced fricsheeon
(spelling?). If it works I am going to put it in my M5 and Honda
lawnmower (the only time you ever see me riding Honda) too. Of course
by now you experenced tool guys now what I forgot right? Yep the drane
plug. As soon as I pour in the first $11.50 per quart bottle it comes
right out the bottom again.
Now you think it isnt going to get any worse. I mean what else can go
rong? I forget about the spilled oil and put the plug back on. I turn
and turn and turn and nothing. It isn't getting tight. I take it off
and I see little metal hairs on the screw part of the plug. So I call
my friend again and he says I striped the bolt hole. I must have
turned it the rong way when I took off the bolt and now I am screwed.
Then he starts giggling at his little pun.
At this point I got very angry so I threw the wrench at the stupid
bike which hit the tank and made a nice dent and then bounced of into
the rear side window of my M5 braking that too. Then the alarm went
off and you have no idea how loud it is when you are inside a concrete
garage with the sound bouncing off everywhere. I had installed the
special horn that was extra loud to daze theefs and it was doing its
job. Meanwile the keys to the car are in my bedroom two floors up. I
didn't know what to do so I just sat down and cried. Into the oil
puddle of the first quart I had put in.
After a few minutes the alarm stopped and I could think again. I took
my pants off and my underwear too it had soaked that bad. As I walked
up the stares I could feel the oil in my ass crack. So I call it a day
and take a nice warm shower. Wile I was in the shower I could here my
car alarm going off again. About now I felt like the only thing left
is for me to slip and crack my head open on the shower. Luckily that
did'nt happen.
So I'm out of the shower and I'm feeling kinda horny as I have a date
later on today. I start pulling it so I can last longer and I'm reely
getting into it. After a couple of minutes I go to grab something to
come in and that's when I notice the two cops staring at me. They were
standing in the hall all looking at me. Somebody had called to
complane about the alarm and I had left the garage door open so they
went inside thinking I had been robbed or something. They asked if I
lived here and I said yes and then they asked for ID but first they
made me wash my hands. They left and I could see them trying to keep
from busting a gut as they sped off into the patroal car.
So this has not been my fucking weak so far. Can anyone give me some
advice on what to do next? I have a striped bolt hole and I also need
to adjust the Desmo valves. My friend says to just call the dealer and
have them pick up the bike but then how the hell am I going tto
explain this to them? I'd like to finish this myself and fix her up
again. If anyone is located near me and would like to help me I'd be
very grateful.